Beer!

I thought of posting some witty insight, again, on frugality or spirituality or environmentalism. And honestly, all of those things are on my mind. But you know, beer ties into all of that. Beer is frugal ($1.75 a mug at Paddy O'Toole's!), beer is spiritual (it's proof God loves us and wants us to be happy) and it's good for the environment (plants reduce our carbon footprint!). And really, beer is all about love. It's frosty. It's foamy. It's so refreshing on a summer day. It's the reason my pants are too tight, but we won't go there.

What's more, beer brings the family together. Conversation between my husband and myself:

Husband: Guess who signed Manny Ramirez? The DODGERS.
Me: Ugh. Joe will be insufferable.
Husband: He already is. How do you think I found out about it?
Me: We need beer.
Husband: How about a few pints on the way home from work?

Sigh. Makes you all warm and fuzzy, no?

Plus, it's good for the economy. Maybe if I tip him, Buddy won't gripe about his car payment.

Jeezie-mail! Jeezie-mail

Sung to the tune of Ani-mail! from the Animal Planet.

^{three Things}
Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -

Time

Words

Opportunity

Three things in life that are most valuable -

Love

Self-confidence

Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -

Dreams

Success

Fortune

Three things that make a man/woman -

Hard work

Sincerity

Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman -

Alcohol

Pride

Anger

Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up -

Respect

Trust

Friendship

P.-----pray
U.----until
S.----something
H.----happens



I need this back... If you'll do this for me... I'll do it for you...



When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.

Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small
prayer for the person who sent you this.




Father,
God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have
a closer relationship with you. Amen.



Then send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you.
Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people.
Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

P. S. Five is good, but more is better.
--------
My brief prayer? Dear God, please let the sender of this message either find her good sense or lose the Enter key. Amen.

Car-ma

Yesterday I was out sick with the Mystery Hock Up A Lung Disease, which seems to be my new best friend. Yesterday I also ran out of Nyquil cough. Now, I know all of the nice new agey alternative medicine horse hockey about not suppressing a cough and whatnot. But you know what? When you're over forty, cough medicine is cheaper than incontinence supplies and I'm just gonna leave it at that.

So I went to Walmart. Since, according to Sockman, we were also DESPERATELY out of Canadian Bacon, I had to go to the Walmart out in West Mobile (or as the trendy kids call it WeMo, which I can only assume is Nemo's mulleted cousin or something) because the Walmart directly behind the apartment has been out of Canadian Bacon since they killed the last pig. This route unfortunately takes me through a nasty bit of perpetual road construction but I do it seldom enough that I tend to forget there is road construction.

Naturally, on the way back from Walmart, I got stuck in the left lane and had to merge back for the construction. Some dude driving a late model Oldsmobile cut me off three times--maybe my use of a turn signal confused him. I don't know. But after a while, he was being downright aggressive about it. So when the car in front of HIM slowed to turn right, I nosed in front.

And proceeded to let over every single person who wanted to merge. I also stopped to let out four little old ladies, a semi, a dump truck, and two unidentified pieces of big yellow road construction things. Hey, I'm a girl. I'm not required to know what they are called, right?

In fact, I let so many people out that when he came to HIS turn, he was blocked from the turn lane and missed his light.

And that is one long cycle.

You know, dude, you could have just let me out.

Why God Created Under Armour

As I have nothing witty or insightful to say today, I will drop off a picture of my friend Tonya's husband Adam. Adam is really really hot. Adam has a fan club. Adam can cut down my tree any time.

Hi Tonya.

You know...

I had something brilliant to say. I did. But I was an idiot and stayed up till 11:00 watching Lost on DVD. And, as luck would have it, my little staff-ette called in. So I'm here at seven. Wishing I was still asleep and dreaming of an inadequately clothed Josh Holloway and suitcases full of cash. Because sadly, neither is on my desk at the moment.

So brilliant thoughts have pretty much run out of my head like drool onto the keyboard.

Rant Du Jour: Jesus Loves You, Pass It On

So recently I began, as many do when they reach that-age-over-thirty, to nose around Things Spiritual. Going as far as attending a few churches. No, the roof did not fall in.

So cackling with joy that there was actually a BIBLE on my desk one day, our uh, religiously enthusiastic secretary apparently spread the good word. Because my inbox is overflowing with God's Electronic Love. And I shouldn't gripe because I know people's hearts are in the right place, but their keyboards should be locked away for all eternity.

A random painful sampling, if you will.

Subject: Morning Inspiration
>
> Repeat after me: This is the Day the Lord has made!
>
> God has kept me here for a reason.
> I survived because He has a plan for me.
> All my bad relationships, the consequences, the
> hard times, the sad times, the death of my loved ones, the back
> stabbing from my friends, the negative thoughts, or the lack of
> support; I made it because I am blessed!
> I release and let go of all past hurts, misunderstandings and grudges
> because I am abundantly blessed! I recognize them as the illusions
> they are, and sent from the enemy to kill my spirit, steal my joy, and
> destroy my faith; for God is all there is. All else is a lie! Now give
> yourself a hug, wipe your tears away and walk in victory!!!!!!!! I
> love you, but more appropriately God loves you BEST! Be blessed and
> know that you are at one with THE SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD! And may the
> Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.
> Genesis 31:49. Amen!
> Now since you are a true child of God, you know that with every
> Blessing, a blessing is required! So be a blessing to another, by
> passing this on.
> IF YOU DO IT RIGHT NOW, GOD WILL BLESS IT RIGHT NOW!!
> Be Blessed "The Will of GOD will never take you where the GRACE of GOD
> will not protect you.

OK, those of you that know me are aware that I'm pretty uninspired in the morning so that's Wrong Step One. And there is so much doctrinally wrong with this email that I don't even want to go there. So I won't. Let's continue, shall we?

Freddy and the Lord stood by

to observe a baseball game.

The Lord's team was playing

Satan's team.

The Lord's team was at bat,

the score was tied zero to

zero, and it was the bottom

of the 9th inning with two

outs. They continued to

watch as a batter stepped up

to the plate named 'Love.'

Love swung at the first pitch

and hit a single, because

'Love never fails.'

The next batter was named

Faith who also got a single

because Faith works with

Love.The next batter up was

named Godly Wisdom. Satan

wound up and threw

the first pitch.


Godly Wisdom looked it over

and let it pass: Ball one.

Three more pitches

and Godly Wisdom walked

because he never swings at

what Satan throws.


The bases were now loaded.

The Lord then turned to

Freddy and told him He was

now going to bring in His star player.

Up to the plate stepped

Grace. Freddy said, 'He sure

doesn't look like much!'

Satan's whole team relaxed

when they saw Grace.

Thinking he had won the

game, Satan wound up and

fired his first pitch. To the

shock of everyone,

Grace hit the ball harder

than anyone had ever seen!

But Satan was not worried;

his center fielder let very

few get by.



He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove,

hit him on the head and sent

him crashing on the ground;

the roaring crowds went wild

as the ball


continued over the fence ....

for a home run!

The Lord's team won!

The Lord then asked Freddy if

he knew why Love, Faith and

Godly Wisdom could get on base

but couldn't win the game.

Freddy answered that he didn't

know why.

The Lord explained, 'If your

love, faith and wisdom had won

the game, you would think you

had done it by yourself.

Love, Faith and Wisdom will get

you on base but only My Grace

can get you Home:

'For by Grace are you saved, it

is a gift of God; not of works,

lest any man should boast.'

Ephesians 2:8-9

Psalm 84:11, 'For the Lord

God is a sun and shield; the

Lord will give grace and

glory; no good thing will

He withhold from those who

walk uprightly.'

Jesus' Test

This is an easy test; you

score 100 or zero. It's your

choice. If you aren't

ashamed to do this, please

follow the directions. Jesus

said, 'If you are ashamed of

me, I will be ashamed of you

before my Father.'

Not ashamed!!

, I do Love God. He is my

source of existence and

Savior. He keeps me

functioning each and

everyday. Without Him, I am

nothing, but with him:

'I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me.'
Phil 4:13
Amen.

This is the simplest test . . If you Love God,
and are not ashamed of all the great things
He has done for you.

What? Ok, I'm pretty sure I got this one because it's no secret I also love baseball. However, I'm ALSO pretty sure the relevant facts are 1) St. Louis lost to Milwaukee last night and 2) this happens more than I care to admit and 3) I still can't get past the Brewers being in the National League and 4) Satan is David Ortiz, everyone knows that.

Dude. It's like people knowing I love cats and sending me all kinds of glittery sparkly kitten crap. I love CATS. The animal. I don't need a kitten calendar, a kitten note card, or a thrice forwarded series of cute photoshopped kitten JPEGs.

Jesus loves me. I get it. Me and the Jeez have worked this out on our own. And neither of us sent an email.

Sigh.

The Obligatory Introductory Post

You know, it has come to my attention that I really need to start blogging again because my family and out of town friends should know what I'm up to.

Or maybe not. We shall see.

At any rate, I named this blog after the building complex where I work. Mostly because it sounds like a mental illness. Which really isn't that far off.

By way of introduction, I work as a library paraprofessional supervising the circulation department of a medical library. This brings me into contact with lots of crazy people. No, not homeless indigents and such; I'm talking coworkers. It's a state job. It doesn't demand much. Nor does it pay much, but that pretty much explains why I'm still here.

That being said, I do enjoy my job when I'm allowed to do it, and am not off measuring study room walls or washing disposable white board erasers.

God help me. For this I went to college.

In other news, I have one fat loud geriatric cat, one Shriner husband who needs new parts, one car which also needs new parts, and one car-in-law (husband's car) which just needs to be taken out and shot. And three stepchildren who are *generally* better behaved than their father.

I eat and drink more than I should, and no longer discuss my weight, age, or credit card balance.

I also need to get my butt back to the track as soon as my husband (aka Sockman) finishes cardiac rehab.